The Phantom Planet
- 84:16
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synopsis
Actually, The Phantom Planet is really one of those damn phantom asteroids (resembling a giant bowel movement) that zips around space on its own power, and sucks the spaceship of DEAN FREDERICKS to its surface. Once Fredericks is exposed to its atmosphere, he gets dizzy, sees ten teenie-tiny men creep up on him, and shrinks inside his space suit (a great shot) until he’s only a few inches high. Next thing you know, he’s having a fist-fight with one of the little men right inside his space helmet! Yes, boys and girls, it’s another sci-fi kiddie matinee full of rockets dodging meteors, aliens in fiery space ships, an astronaut who floats to his death reciting “The Lord’s Prayer,” an allegedly “advanced race” that lives in a self-imposed “primitive” lifestyle because they once had too much leisure time on their hands (huh?), and, best of all, what may very well be the funniest-looking monster in movie history. And, because it’s all set in the futuristic world of 1980, everything is carefully explained with a lot of scientific jibberish that doesn’t make a goddamn bit of sense.
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