Classroom Scare Films: Drug Evils
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Awwwwww, freak out! Noted Percocet hound SONNY BONO, replete in shiny orange suit, dishes about Marijuana and how its users are cooler than those "square and unhip alcoholics". Still, the film illustrates the downsides to grass, such as seeing yourself in a mirror with a spooky monster mask, careening off a cliff, or -- in the case of one Nigerian pusher -- executed. You also see a monkey taking bong hits in a lab, which is, quite frankly, priceless. But Narcotics: The Inside Story shows you a bunch of rats hopped up on pills, which is far more entertaining than watching the computer animated antics of Stuart Little; followed by happy-go-lucky teenagers enjoying a seemingly unrelated beach blanket barbecue featuring a rather milquetoast volleyball game and weenie roast. Also featuring: Focus on Heroin, Thinking About Drinking, The PCP Story, and more.
Savages From Hell
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Bikers, beach parties, body painting, death by dune buggy, and a good old-fashioned catfight all gleefully collide in Savages from Hell, the manic followup to Shanty Tramp from producer K. GORDON MURRAY and director JOSE ("Joseph") PRIETO. And while Savages ain't no Shanty-hell, few films are--it's still an exuberant blast from Florida's past which manages to make the entire Sunshine State seem like one of those scary little rest stops somewhere off the main road.
Marihuana Story
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Before he relocated to Spain and made the gender-bender shocker I Hate My Body and a handful of Paul Naschy movies (including Werewolf vs. The Vampire Woman), director LEON KLIMOVSKY shot this warped anti-pot thriller in his hometown of Buenos Aires, Argentina. Like earlier "warning" films which purported to tell the truth about marijuana abuse, Klimovsky's is naively wrong-headed wrongheaded from the get-go. However, viewers expecting a Reefer Madness-style camp classic will be sorely disappointed. Substitute heroin or crack fro the dreaded weed and the situations depicted in The Marihuana Story suddenly become no laughing matter.
Satan in High Heels
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Shrewd, conniving goddess Stacey Kane (MEG MYLES) is a second-rate stripper in a third-rate carnival. Startled when she finds her junkie ex-husband lurking in her dressing room, Stacey promptly steals every cent he has and hops on a plane for New York. Great, gritty exploitation which packed a hell of a wallop in the more innocent days of 1962.
High School Big Shot
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Desperate to become popular, a teenager turns to a life of crime in an effort to impress the prettiest - and greediest - girl in school.
The Hang-Up
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Two vice cops get entangled in a web of prostitution, blackmail and murder.
Classroom Scare Films: Drug Horrors
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From Something Weird Video: During the Great White Suburban Drug Scare of the late sixties / early seventies, parents, educators, and corporate sponsors banded together in an effort to scare American teens away from getting high. It might be argued that the weird and often hysterical propoganda films that emerged from this era created more drug abuse than they prevented. Nevertheless, here’s a handful of Classroom Scare Films from a groovy by-gone era that will fascinate and entertain you from beginning to end... Featuring Featuring Weed, Ups / Downs, and more.
Teenage Mother
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Before he became known for distributing such drive-­in epics as I Drink Your Blood, I Eat Your Skin, and I Spit on Your Grave, JERRY GROSS directed two fascinating little quickies - Girl on A Chain Gang (’65) and Teenage Mother (’67) - that are textbook examples of classic old-school exploitation. In fact. shot­-on-Long-Island Teenage Mother seems to take its inspiration from a half dozen old roadshow films, updated for the Sixties, and even concludes with that oldest of exploitation standbys, authentic birth-of-a-­baby footage!
Trucker’s Woman
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The son of a murdered truck driver starts driving his own 18-wheeler to infiltrate the world of suspects who may have committed the crime.
Women of the World
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Italian mondo documentary about a varied group of women, from mothers and killers to executives and sex workers, in the global culture of the bizarre.
The Girl From S.I.N.
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Poontang Plenty is a secret agent who works on defeating evil while trying to crack the secret of invisibility.
Ma Barker’s Killer Brood
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Oh, who cares how much of this is really true or not. Ma Barker's Killer Brood is how things should have been. And after seeing this wild, hilarious, and consistently over-the-top B-movie bio-pic, it's damn near impossible to think of Ma Barker any other way than as played by everyone's favorite scenery-chewing little old lady, LURENE TUTTLE: "Shoot him, Herman! Shoot him!"
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians
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As KID-TV visits Santa Claus' famous North Pole toy workshop, the program is watched in wonder by two sad-eyed Martian children. Their father is worried, so he leads on expeditionary force to earth. Their mission: to kidnap Father Christmas and take him back to Mars. Their first earth contacts are brother and sister Billy and Betty Foster, who not only help the Martians find the North Pole, but also make the return journey to Mans with Sanka on board. For the moment it seems, the Martians have conquered Santa Claus. But the tables are about to be turned... Regarded as one of the most memorable "cult films" of all time, Santa Claus Conquers The Martians is an imaginatively "trippy" and delightful low-budget holiday fantasy.
The Weird World of Weird
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To celebrate 20 years of Something Weird bringing the world the very best in subversive, disreputable, and cult cinema, SWV made available four exceedingly rare, never-before-released jewels that will make any cinephile’s head light up and spin. Rosie (b&w) is a failed 19-minute pilot for a TV sitcom about a talking dog named Rosie. It is absolutely horrifying. Why? Because the dog is not played by a real canine (or a puppet or a cartoon) but by a large adult in a mangy dog suit with a creepy dog face, clumsily walking around on his hands and knees. The Weird World of Weird (1970, color) is a loony 47-minute never-aired TV special in which host RALPH STORY explores psychic phenomena, astrology, witchcraft and “all those mysterious secrets hidden in the mystical world of the occult.” with detours to a psychic “balloon reader” and a spook-filled séance at the Magic Castle. It's got a groovy, late-60s psychedelic feel to it all that makes it a wonderfully bizarre time capsule. Follow That Skirt (1964, color) is a nasty little 26-minute short that was probably intended to be America’s second gore film. Though not released until 1965 when, according to Dave Friedman, it played a single theater in San Francisco, there’s little doubt that Blood Feast was its influence. Based on the popularity of its trailer, The Smut Peddler (1965, b&w) is among a handful of currently “lost” films that Something Weird (as well as the rest of the world) has been actively searching for. So we were thrilled when we at least found this much in excellent condition. And, yeah, it’s good stuff. A crude oyster-eating publisher, a lesbian secretary, and a French photographer all love mauling and exploiting their lovely nude models while W.B. PARKER (Olga’s House of Shame) is shocked and appalled. - Frank Henenlotter
Giants of Rome
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After word of an enemy’s powerful secret weapon leaks out, a group of soldiers is handpicked by Julius Caesar to destroy the machine at all costs.
There’s Always Vanilla
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Attention die-hard GEORGE ROMERO fans: this is the one you've been waiting for! Believed forever lost, this Latent Image take on The Graduate is the red-headed stepson of Romero and company's output which bridges the thematic gap between the feminist concerns of Season of the Witch (1972) and no-holds-barred horror of The Crazies (1973). The plot concerns Chris, a troubled youth who can't commit himself to family or friends until he meets Lynn (JUDITH STREINER), who tries to help him gather all the disparate strands of his life and bind them into some kind of shape. Romero's signature machine-gun editing technique takes this standard boy-meets-girl-in-the-early-seventies story and turns it into a kaleidoscopic barrage that's full of surprising life.
Goliath Dragon
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While strongman Goliath is busy battling a fire-spewing three-headed doggie and a giant bat-monster in the "Cave of Horrors," his brother, lllus, has made the mistake of falling in love with the bride-to-be of evil King Eurystheus (played by Broderick Crawford, who walks around barking orders like a Hollywood gangster). Responsible for the death of Goliath’s parents, Eurystheus scores bonus points by capturing Illus and sentencing him to be crushed beneath the massive feet of a prisoner-squashing elephant. Worse, a centaur - half-man, half-horse - kidnaps Goliath’s wife and delivers her to the temperamental tyrant. Naturally, Goliath goes ballistic, flexes his muscles, and clobbers all the king’s men. But when his wife is shackled in the Horror Cave, Goliath must come face to face with Eurystheus’ pet dragon...

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