Arriving in Hollywood, a motorcycling rock-'n-roller finds romance and a shot at the big time, but must contend with the schemes of a shady manager.

Hercules is summoned to oppose the evil Queen Samara, who has allied herself with aliens and is sacrificing her own people in a bid to awaken a moon goddess.

Actually, The Phantom Planet is really one of those damn phantom asteroids (resembling a giant bowel movement) that zips around space on its own power, and sucks the spaceship of DEAN FREDERICKS to its surface. Once Fredericks is exposed to its atmosphere, he gets dizzy, sees ten teenie-tiny men creep up on him, and shrinks inside his space suit (a great shot) until he’s only a few inches high. Next thing you know, he’s having a fist-fight with one of the little men right inside his space helmet! Yes, boys and girls, it’s another sci-fi kiddie matinee full of rockets dodging meteors, aliens in fiery space ships, an astronaut who floats to his death reciting “The Lord’s Prayer,” an allegedly “advanced race” that lives in a self-imposed “primitive” lifestyle because they once had too much leisure time on their hands (huh?), and, best of all, what may very well be the funniest-looking monster in movie history. And, because it’s all set in the futuristic world of 1980, everything is carefully explained with a lot of scientific jibberish that doesn’t make a goddamn bit of sense.

Jonesing for some more comical tirades against mind-altering substances? Then tie one off and shoot these five shorts directly into your vein... Featuring Narcotics Part I: Goof Balls and Tea (1957), Beyond LSD (1967), Narcotics: Pit of Despair (1967, Marijuana The Great Escape (1968) and Drug Addiction (1951).